Friday, March 21, 2014

My Favorite History Trivia Question

So as many of you know, I love History.  If I wasn't in my current career I'd likely be teaching US History to a bunch of hot head 9th graders.  At least that's what I would want to be doing.  I love looking back on the events that shaped our country and our world.  I often ponder what the world would be like if some of those events went in a different direction. . . What if we never got involved in the Viet Nam war?  I know a LOT of people wish we hadn't.  What if Japan never attacked Pearl Harbor?  Would we have joined the war?  These are the questions I ask myself.  The questions I ask others however, those are trick questions!

My Favorite being;
Who was the first President?
    - Please Chris... Any fool will get that right, it's George Washington...
Google image search, you win again...
Actually folks you are wrong.
Yes, Washington is WIDELY known as the first President, all our books say so and everyone on the street will agree with you... but really he was 8th..

"WHAT?  Are you on crack?"
No I am not on crack, and that is really rude.

The first president was actually a man named John Hanson.  Look him up folks, he's real.

When did we declare our independence?  1776, when did Washington become President?  1789!?!? Wait a tick, that's 13 year gap!

That's it, let it all sink in.  Yes, the first person to be elected as the leader of this country was actually Hanson, he was elected in 1781 (yes it took a couple years to figure things out after the war ended). 

So here is why nobody know's that Hanson was the actual first president of the country.  In the Beginning, The Articles of Confederation were adopted as our "system of government".  The document was proposed in 1776, agreed upon in 1777 and adopted in 1781.  With this new system of government we needed a "President" to run the country.  Congress got together and unanimously voted Hanson in as President (including Washington).  In fact nobody dared run against Hanson because they all thought him to be far too influential during the Revolutionary War and wouldn't think to run against him.

Under the Articles of Confederation a president would serve a 1 year term, Hanson served from November 81' to November 82'.  In that time he actually did quite a bit.  Following him were six others.  Ultimately the Articles of Confederation would be scrapped and the Constitution would e adopted,  When this new document was adopted Congress once again got together and The Electoral College voted in the very First President under the Constitution of the United States; George Washington (the 8th President).
"You don't even know who I am..."






Tuesday, March 18, 2014

LENT!!!!

What are you giving up for lent this year?  Soda? Swearing? Eating more than 5 slices of pizza in one sitting?  I feel like Lent is just "New Years Resolutions take two".  For those who failed already in their resolutions they get a second chance!  I can give up being a complete Dbag for lent and feel good about myself! (I swear to god that is a person who I work with)

Meet Pauly D, not the worst part of The Jersey Shore... wow
Much like New Years Resolutions, I gave up on the Idea of Lent LONG ago.  Not because I didn't think I could follow through, but becasuse I think there are some serious issues with the catholic church right now (or since always) and I just don't have the desire to "show my faith" by adhering to a silly notion of giving something up to "prepare" us for Easter.  Did you know that Jesus (if he is real) spent 40 days in the desert "fasting" before starting his public ministry?  Yep, that is how we get 40 days of Lent.  We give up saying "F off" because that is the same as Jesus nearly starving himself to death for over a month... I just don't think it's necessary.  It seems far too insignificant and a lot of people don't follow through anyway.

Lets now get into "no meat" on Fridays.  This is by far my favorite thing when it comes to arguing the validity of an organized religion imposing laws and rules on its followers.  So as we all know, during lent we cannot eat any meat on Fridays.  This is nothing new, this has been going on for hundreds of years, however it is not entirely "original".  By which I mean that it wasn't a commandment from God...
See, even God swears...

No, The rule came from the Church, and do you want to know why?  Of course you do, you haven't deleted this web page and unfriended me on Facebook yet.  The Church struck a deal with the Fishing Industry because they were struggling.  Both sides got something out of it, and that's why you can't have meat on Fridays during Lent but you can have fish...  Please, If I am offered a juicy cheeseburger on any Friday throughout the year, I am tearing into that thing. 

Lent isn't important to me because it has nothing to do with my faith.  I no longer find myself  "attached" to a specific religion or organization.  Do I believe in God?  That's a loaded question.  I believe in a higher power, what that power is and what purpose it serves, I do not know.  What I do absolutely believe is that if there is a heaven, you don't earn your acceptance by going to church on Sundays and giving something up for lent.  And by the same token, if a man lives a good life and is charitable and decent, I believe that he should not be disqualified from heaven because he doesn't belong to any religion.  Makes no sense. 

Now, I do not mean to degrade or belittle the Catholic (Christian) religion.  Many people rely on their faith and their religion to guide them.  And to that I say: As long as it's guiding you in the right direction, by all means, keep going.  But do not tell me that because I am Catholic I need to refrain from eating meat on Fridays...   Or that I need to give something up for 40 days to show my true faith...  I show my faith by not being a complete Jack Ass at all times.  What?  I AM a complete Jack Ass?  Crap.

*EDIT - I neither hate Catholicism nor any other religion.  In a previous post I talked about three religions that were founded on great principles, tolerance and kindness being two of them.  But the Catholic Church has come a long way, lots of good has happened and lots of bad has happened.  My faith has been shaken by many events in my life.  And some are either hurt by this or disagree with it.  I understand where you are coming from but want you to know, I grew up in a very religious house and I do believe that I learned a lot from it and was taught great core values from catechism and church on Sunday's.  However when I grew up I saw the rest of the world and learned much more.  And in that time I found myself pulling away from the church little by little.  Then one day I found myself on the other side of the argument.  Not trying to disprove God's existence, but more about disagreeing with what the "church" has done and the stance it takes.  I may not be religious but I have faith.  I may not go to church but I believe. 








Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Resolutions

It's March, how many people out there are still going strong with your resolutions? Oh, what was that? None? Yeah I didn't think so. Here are a couple simple tips for being “more” successful with your New Years resolutions, I said more in quotes because I am still pretty sure you losers will fail... (too harsh?)  Oh and if you put a comment below saying "I am still doing my resolution", everybody hates you. 

  1. Stop making resolutions that are nearly unattainable. A 250 pound man wants to lose 100 lbs... That's a LOT of weight to lose, is it impossible? No, but it may not be probable. Instead aim to eat healthier and exercise more, if you make that your resolution, you are far more likely to succeed, and the weight loss will come with it and be an added bonus. Some people will make a resolution to exercise every day for the whole year... ARE YOU KIDDING? What if you are sick one day? What if you wake up late and have to rush to work so you miss your morning workout, then work blows up and you are there really late, you don’t get home till 8pm... you shouldn't feel guilty for not working out on days like this, but because of your resolution you feel that you need to, even though you don't have the energy. OR if you decide not to, now its April 18th and you just screwed the whole thing because who cares if you work out every following day? You already failed. Set. Smaller. Goals.
in 12 months I will be able to reach the remote

  1. Don't come up with a resolution that is typical of half the population, do something for yourself, not society. Too many people do the same resolutions year in and year out, OR they do the same resolution that they hear from their friends. “we're going to lose 20 lbs” or “no more beer before noon” (silly). Instead, come up with a resolution that makes sense for YOU and for your life. For example I have always wanted to be more active, so for my resolution I could say that I am going to do some biking, and hiking, and swimming and what not. It's more personal to me, so I am more likely to do it.
We are all the same. right Bob?  Yes Bob

  1. Instead of making a resolution about “not” doing something, make it about “doing” something. What I mean by that is people tend to say “I wont drink soda” or “I am cutting out sweets”, which makes your resolution negative. If you instead say “I am going to make healthier choices” that puts a more positive spin on your resolution. And it won't kill you to eat a piece of delicious apple pie every once in a while...
unlike a negatively charged particle, amiright?

  1. Finally, keep your resolution to yourself. I know this is difficult but listen up, this isn't just because I don't care (which I really don't). There was a study done by someone who does study's (yes I am very technical) that stated when you talk about your resolution you already feel a sense of accomplishment. “I am going to travel more this year” people usually will react the same way “Ohh that’s awesome, I bet you will have a lot of fun/ good for you”. This is actually detrimental to the success of your year. Because you start to feel good about yourself as if you have already accomplished your goal just by talking about it and saying “you will do it”. People tend to be nice on the surface about things like this. A friend or co-worker is less likely to say “Wow I thought you were trying to exercise more, you look like shit”. If you do have this friend, keep them, the brutally honest are great to have in a pinch...


    Me: Do I have a small penis?
    Ben: Yes, I am pretty sure you do.
    Me: Fuck.

Young Larry Bird doesn't care about your resolution


For me, a New Years resolution was easy... Stop caring about trying to better myself and just have a good time. I CAN'T FAIL! Next up we will talk about Lent, because I LOVE talking about religion.


f***ing Chuck Narris

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Top 5's

So I mentioned in another post, my top 3 movie "franchises".  In that post I went into a little more detail about why I would chose them.  In this post I think I am just going to come up with an assortment of "things" and list the top 5 "things" in that category.  I do not care if you think Jiff is better than Skippy, this is my list, and you are wrong.  But like all things, please post your thoughts in the comments!

Top 5 Trilogies/Sagas 
5. Back to the Future
4. Toy Story
3. Indiana Jones (all 3)
2. Lord of the Rings
1. Star Wars (originals)

Damn. It doesn't get any better than this.
So hard to put this trilogy second. . .
 
Top 5 WORST movies
5. Superman IV
4. Highlander II
3. Batman and Robin
2. Gigli
1. Battlefield Earth (thanks Travolta)
Why do you want me to hate you so much John Travolta?

Top 5 Ice Cream Flavors
5. Peanut butter Cup
4. Oreo
3. Mint Oreo
2. Brownie Batter
1. Coffee Heath Bar Crunch

"Resistance is futile" Damn you ice cream


Top 5 Wild Animals
5. Lemur
4. Capuchin Monkey
3. Hippo
2. Tiger
1. Lion (they don't call him king of the Jungle for nothing)


Top 5 Presidents
5. Clinton (he wont make any lists but I loved him)
4. Thomas Jefferson
3. FDR
2. Lincoln
1. Teddy Roosevelt

Top 5 Sports to Watch
5. Women's Beach Volleyball (don't judge me)
4. Baseball
3. Olympics (I know, its many sports, shut up)
2. Playoff hockey
1. Football (don't mess with my Sunday's)
I'm nearly certain the Ancient Greeks would hate the crap out of us


Top 5 TV Shows
5.30 Rock
4. Firefly
3. Arrested Development
2. The Office
1. Scrubs
EAAAGGGLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE



Top 5 bands
5. Journey
4. Muse
3. Red Hot Chili peppers
2. Aerosmith
1. The Beatles










Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Bucket List

So in my last post I spoke of some major life changes that happened to me in the last year.  I also stated that I am ready for life's next challenges and adventures.  To piggy back on that, because I am ready to tackle some new and exciting things, I bring you; "The Bucket List".  I wanted that to sound really dramatic so if you could indulge me, go back and re-read that sentence but imagine Europe's "Final Count Down" playing in the background.  In fact if you have that song, go ahead and play it. 

This is a list of places and things that I want to do before I die.  I think we all know the idea so I won't go into detail about it.  It's also a work in progress, so if you have gone somewhere or done something that you feel everyone needs to experience, please, post it in the comments so that I can add it.  I will even give you credit!

The Bucket List:
Places I want to go:
     Ireland
     Australia
     Russia
     Alaska
     Vegas
     Grand Canyon
     Yosemite (Compliments of Tommy Long)
     Hawaii

Things I want to do:
     Skydiving
     Get my children's book published
     Go back to school
     Buy a house
     Build something (with my own hands - not ikea!)
     Go on a cruise
     Ski in Colorado/Utah
     Ski in Switzerland

                                                 This could be me, but less black...


Like I mentioned above, this is a work in progress.  I will add stuff on my own and I would love your help as well.  So if you have an idea,  let me know.  OR if you have an item on your bucket list that you need a "partner in crime" for, let me know!

- Red Guy







Monday, March 3, 2014

Updates...

Last post... June 2013.  Awesome.  I owe you all some updates!  Yes I realize that "you all" refers to probably the 12 people that might read this thing.

So life is never without surprises, it's always throwing curve balls at you.  My own personal life in the last year has been filled with lots of joy and some sadness as well.  I am going to get the sadness out of the way quickly and move on.  Because I have.

My wife and I separated and are divorcing.  The first couple months were really difficult because anyone in that situation tries their hardest to make sense of it, and if they can, fix it.  I tried to fix it, I went farther than I wanted to go to fix it, because to me staying with the woman who I married and spoke sacred vows to was really important to me.  HOWEVER, once you realize it cannot be fixed you start to come down from that place of anger and frustration and see it for what it is.  We were two people who fell for each other quickly and didn't take the time we needed to truly know if we belonged together.  Do I regret it?  Not even a little bit.  She and I were in love, for a long time.  And above all, she gave me Jack.  But as I said, you realize that you may not have been right for each other in the end.  So I moved on.  It was neither easy nor pleasant.  But with the support of family and friends, I did.  I am now MUCH happier and ready to tackle the next chapter of my life... Bring it on world.

THE HAPPY STUFF!
My son Jack turns 1 this month (March 30th).  He is literally the most amazing person in my life.  I cannot imagine my life without him and it's hard to remember life before him.  Those who have children understand that concept. You focus all your energy on being a parent, being a good parent if you can.  And though there are plenty of ups and downs, it is a feeling of pure joy.  In some of my earlier posts I have mentioned being anxious or excited to meet him, and what would be be like?!  HE IS ME!!  The picture below is of both he and I around the same age.  Have I successfully figured out cloning?  Maybe, Maybe I have.

                                                     I am in a bucket, he is not....


I am meeting new people and catching up with old friends.  Life is moving along "swimmingly".  Where will the next couple years take me?  Who knows?  That's the fun!


More to come....