I love food, anyone looking at me can figure that out.
When somebody who is a gym rat tells me how "easy" it is to get healthy I scoff at them. Because I know what is about to follow. "Cut out the high carbs and sugary foods... Don't drink so much beer, and if you see a piece of cake you are obligated to throw it in the trash and tell the person carrying it they are making the wrong choice."
Let me tell you what, I hate your life. Your life of salads and protein shakes depresses me. Kale? are you fucking kidding me?!! No, I am so done with you.
On to the good stuff. Here are a bunch of foods that I would eat directly in front of the gym rat who crying on the inside because they miss the taste of actual food.
This is a bacon cheese burger. I started here because this is a staple in my life.
Buffalo wings, and other assorted flavors. Yeah, like I'd give you up for a piece of lettuce and some chic peas....
Cold weather. Football. Chili.
Game. Set. Match
Lasagna. If you don't eat lasagna, both Garfield and I judge you harshly. And if you eat "vegetarian" lasagna, I am still deducting points.
Steak. Need I say more?
I was told bacon needs its own category, so without further adieu...
Bacon
Bacon
Heart shaped bacon
Bacon
Desert:
This is called "Apple Pie", did you know that if you don't like apple pie you are basically saying you hate America?
Ice Cream, not sherbet, not frozen yogurt. ICE CREAM.
What? you don't eat ice cream? GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU COMMUNIST.
Ok guys, this is the last one. And if you tell me "I cant eat cake because it goes against my "paleo" diet, get out.
This is the end of my food post. There are many other foods out there that are tasty: Fish, Ribs, Pork, Most Breakfast foods, Skittles (there could be a whole post on candy alone). What are some of your favorite foods? How much do you hate people who are on Paleo diets?
Your Friend,
Red Guy
When somebody who is a gym rat tells me how "easy" it is to get healthy I scoff at them. Because I know what is about to follow. "Cut out the high carbs and sugary foods... Don't drink so much beer, and if you see a piece of cake you are obligated to throw it in the trash and tell the person carrying it they are making the wrong choice."
 | ||
| Do either of them even look happy? |
Let me tell you what, I hate your life. Your life of salads and protein shakes depresses me. Kale? are you fucking kidding me?!! No, I am so done with you.
On to the good stuff. Here are a bunch of foods that I would eat directly in front of the gym rat who crying on the inside because they miss the taste of actual food.
This is a bacon cheese burger. I started here because this is a staple in my life.
Buffalo wings, and other assorted flavors. Yeah, like I'd give you up for a piece of lettuce and some chic peas....
Cold weather. Football. Chili.
Game. Set. Match
Lasagna. If you don't eat lasagna, both Garfield and I judge you harshly. And if you eat "vegetarian" lasagna, I am still deducting points.
Steak. Need I say more?
I was told bacon needs its own category, so without further adieu...
Bacon
Bacon
Heart shaped bacon
Bacon
Desert:
This is called "Apple Pie", did you know that if you don't like apple pie you are basically saying you hate America?
Ice Cream, not sherbet, not frozen yogurt. ICE CREAM.
What? you don't eat ice cream? GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU COMMUNIST.
Ok guys, this is the last one. And if you tell me "I cant eat cake because it goes against my "paleo" diet, get out.
This is the end of my food post. There are many other foods out there that are tasty: Fish, Ribs, Pork, Most Breakfast foods, Skittles (there could be a whole post on candy alone). What are some of your favorite foods? How much do you hate people who are on Paleo diets?
Your Friend,
Red Guy
No comments:
Post a Comment