Resolutions

It's March, how many people out there are still going strong with your resolutions? Oh, what was that? None? Yeah I didn't think so. Here are a couple simple tips for being “more” successful with your New Years resolutions, I said more in quotes because I am still pretty sure you losers will fail... (too harsh?)  Oh and if you put a comment below saying "I am still doing my resolution", everybody hates you. 

1. Stop making resolutions that are nearly unattainable. A 250 pound man wants to lose 100 lbs... That's a LOT of weight to lose, is it impossible? No, but it may not be probable. Instead aim to eat healthier and exercise more, if you make that your resolution, you are far more likely to succeed, and the weight loss will come with it and be an added bonus. Some people will make a resolution to exercise every day for the whole year... ARE YOU KIDDING? What if you are sick one day? What if you wake up late and have to rush to work so you miss your morning workout, then work blows up and you are there really late, you don’t get home till 8pm... you shouldn't feel guilty for not working out on days like this, but because of your resolution you feel that you need to, even though you don't have the energy. OR if you decide not to, now its April 18^th and you just screwed the whole thing because who cares if you work out every following day? You already failed. Set. Smaller. Goals.

in 12 months I will be able to reach the remote

2. Don't come up with a resolution that is typical of half the population, do something for yourself, not society. Too many people do the same resolutions year in and year out, OR they do the same resolution that they hear from their friends. “we're going to lose 20 lbs” or “no more beer before noon” (silly). Instead, come up with a resolution that makes sense for YOU and for your life. For example I have always wanted to be more active, so for my resolution I could say that I am going to do some biking, and hiking, and swimming and what not. It's more personal to me, so I am more likely to do it.

We are all the same. right Bob?  Yes Bob

3. Instead of making a resolution about “not” doing something, make it about “doing” something. What I mean by that is people tend to say “I wont drink soda” or “I am cutting out sweets”, which makes your resolution negative. If you instead say “I am going to make healthier choices” that puts a more positive spin on your resolution. And it won't kill you to eat a piece of delicious apple pie every once in a while...

unlike a negatively charged particle, amiright?

4. Finally, keep your resolution to yourself. I know this is difficult but listen up, this isn't just because I don't care (which I really don't). There was a study done by someone who does study's (yes I am very technical) that stated when you talk about your resolution you already feel a sense of accomplishment. “I am going to travel more this year” people usually will react the same way “Ohh that’s awesome, I bet you will have a lot of fun/ good for you”. This is actually detrimental to the success of your year. Because you start to feel good about yourself as if you have already accomplished your goal just by talking about it and saying “you will do it”. People tend to be nice on the surface about things like this. A friend or co-worker is less likely to say “Wow I thought you were trying to exercise more, you look like shit”. If you do have this friend, keep them, the brutally honest are great to have in a pinch...
   
   
   
   
   Me: Do I have a small penis?
   Ben: Yes, I am pretty sure you do.
   Me: Fuck.
   
   

Young Larry Bird doesn't care about your resolution

For me, a New Years resolution was easy... Stop caring about trying to better myself and just have a good time. I CAN'T FAIL! Next up we will talk about Lent, because I LOVE talking about religion.

f***ing Chuck Narris

Top 5's

So I mentioned in another post, my top 3 movie "franchises".  In that post I went into a little more detail about why I would chose them.  In this post I think I am just going to come up with an assortment of "things" and list the top 5 "things" in that category.  I do not care if you think Jiff is better than Skippy, this is my list, and you are wrong.  But like all things, please post your thoughts in the comments!

Top 5 Trilogies/Sagas 
5. Back to the Future
4. Toy Story
3. Indiana Jones (all 3)
2. Lord of the Rings
1. Star Wars (originals)

Damn. It doesn't get any better than this.

So hard to put this trilogy second. . .

 
Top 5 WORST movies
5. Superman IV
4. Highlander II
3. Batman and Robin
2. Gigli
1. Battlefield Earth (thanks Travolta)

Why do you want me to hate you so much John Travolta?

Top 5 Ice Cream Flavors
5. Peanut butter Cup
4. Oreo
3. Mint Oreo
2. Brownie Batter
1. Coffee Heath Bar Crunch

"Resistance is futile" Damn you ice cream

Top 5 Wild Animals
5. Lemur
4. Capuchin Monkey
3. Hippo
2. Tiger
1. Lion (they don't call him king of the Jungle for nothing)


Top 5 Presidents
5. Clinton (he wont make any lists but I loved him)
4. Thomas Jefferson
3. FDR
2. Lincoln
1. Teddy Roosevelt

Top 5 Sports to Watch
5. Women's Beach Volleyball (don't judge me)
4. Baseball
3. Olympics (I know, its many sports, shut up)
2. Playoff hockey
1. Football (don't mess with my Sunday's)

I'm nearly certain the Ancient Greeks would hate the crap out of us

Top 5 TV Shows
5.30 Rock
4. Firefly
3. Arrested Development
2. The Office
1. Scrubs

EAAAGGGLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE

Top 5 bands
5. Journey
4. Muse
3. Red Hot Chili peppers
2. Aerosmith
1. The Beatles

Bucket List

So in my last post I spoke of some major life changes that happened to me in the last year.  I also stated that I am ready for life's next challenges and adventures.  To piggy back on that, because I am ready to tackle some new and exciting things, I bring you; "The Bucket List".  I wanted that to sound really dramatic so if you could indulge me, go back and re-read that sentence but imagine Europe's "Final Count Down" playing in the background.  In fact if you have that song, go ahead and play it. 

This is a list of places and things that I want to do before I die.  I think we all know the idea so I won't go into detail about it.  It's also a work in progress, so if you have gone somewhere or done something that you feel everyone needs to experience, please, post it in the comments so that I can add it.  I will even give you credit!

The Bucket List:
Places I want to go:
     Ireland
     Australia
     Russia
     Alaska
     Vegas
     Grand Canyon
     Yosemite (Compliments of Tommy Long)
     Hawaii

Things I want to do:
     Skydiving
     Get my children's book published
     Go back to school
     Buy a house
     Build something (with my own hands - not ikea!)
     Go on a cruise
     Ski in Colorado/Utah
     Ski in Switzerland

                                                 This could be me, but less black...


Like I mentioned above, this is a work in progress.  I will add stuff on my own and I would love your help as well.  So if you have an idea,  let me know.  OR if you have an item on your bucket list that you need a "partner in crime" for, let me know!

- Red Guy

Updates...

Last post... June 2013.  Awesome.  I owe you all some updates!  Yes I realize that "you all" refers to probably the 12 people that might read this thing.

So life is never without surprises, it's always throwing curve balls at you.  My own personal life in the last year has been filled with lots of joy and some sadness as well.  I am going to get the sadness out of the way quickly and move on.  Because I have.

My wife and I separated and are divorcing.  The first couple months were really difficult because anyone in that situation tries their hardest to make sense of it, and if they can, fix it.  I tried to fix it, I went farther than I wanted to go to fix it, because to me staying with the woman who I married and spoke sacred vows to was really important to me.  HOWEVER, once you realize it cannot be fixed you start to come down from that place of anger and frustration and see it for what it is.  We were two people who fell for each other quickly and didn't take the time we needed to truly know if we belonged together.  Do I regret it?  Not even a little bit.  She and I were in love, for a long time.  And above all, she gave me Jack.  But as I said, you realize that you may not have been right for each other in the end.  So I moved on.  It was neither easy nor pleasant.  But with the support of family and friends, I did.  I am now MUCH happier and ready to tackle the next chapter of my life... Bring it on world.

THE HAPPY STUFF!
My son Jack turns 1 this month (March 30th).  He is literally the most amazing person in my life.  I cannot imagine my life without him and it's hard to remember life before him.  Those who have children understand that concept. You focus all your energy on being a parent, being a good parent if you can.  And though there are plenty of ups and downs, it is a feeling of pure joy.  In some of my earlier posts I have mentioned being anxious or excited to meet him, and what would be be like?!  HE IS ME!!  The picture below is of both he and I around the same age.  Have I successfully figured out cloning?  Maybe, Maybe I have.

                                                     I am in a bucket, he is not....


I am meeting new people and catching up with old friends.  Life is moving along "swimmingly".  Where will the next couple years take me?  Who knows?  That's the fun!


More to come....

30 Day Ab Challenge

So I saw online that someone is doing something called "30 Day Ab Challenge".  Self explanatory right?  For those who are not good with the.. brains, you start the month off doing an assortment of exercises and likely the numbers or "repetitions" are low.  As the month progresses the reps should be increased and at the end of the month you should be doing a whole lot more than you did in the beginning. 

EDIT:  This is not meant to turn a fatty (me) into Brad Pitt (not me). 

This is simply to get myself in better shape, hopefully get my core a little stronger and trim some of the fat.  I make no promises that I reach the end of the month goal, but I sure as shit will try.  I use to be skinny...  I was never a 6 pack guy, but I was skinny and I liked that.  I don't think I am really overweight but I definitely have some belly fat to get rid of and I am not interested in eating only vegetables for the rest of my life, I'd rather drive off a bridge than cut out my favorite foods. 

There are many versions of this challenge, I am assuming people just do what they think suits them... So I looked at one that I liked and tweaked it just a bit.  Here it is below...

An Unspeakable Tragedy

The Boston Marathon, a historic event with people running from ALL over the world.  One of the best days to be From Massachusetts, and better yet, from Boston.  We take Pride in our Marathon.  It's the best one out there.  But this year it changed forever.  and who knows what it will look like in years to come.

I have had to turn off the News lately because it makes me sick to my stomach to watch the gruesome footage and watch that poor old man crumble to the ground.  I can only take solace in the fact that he is ok.  But not everyone was as lucky as him.  I wont spit out the statistics, we all know them.  Something horrible happened and I wish it would stop.

I have talked to many people over the last couple days, and I have heard MANY opinions and many thoughts regarding this terrorist attack.  All I know is that whomever is responsible will undoubtedly be brought to justice.  This is not something you "get away with"  We are a strong city, and we are unforgiving in situations like this.

Some are calling this "war".  and I can understand why they would do so.  The images from the finish line are horrific, they do not belong here.  So yes, you can say "this is war".  But it's a different kind of war.  War use to have a purpose, albeit a controversial one...  If you saw a visible threat, you'd send in the troops.  And even then, the guys with the guns were only suppose to shoot at other guys with guns.  What threat did a bunch of marathoners pose?  What threat did a crowd of civilians cheering on their family and friends pose?  This is a different kind of war.  War has changed over the span of our history and it scares me.  So where do we go from here?  What is going to happen next?  I wish I could believe that this will be the last attack, but that would be naive.  I can only do my part and stand strong. 

"Not on my watch" - A Few Good Men

Slacking Off

Ok, So it appears I have been slacking off on this blog lately.  My bad, sometimes I get busy and don't have time, sometimes I get lazy and say "I'll post tomorrow".  Other times, I simply forget.  I will let you be the judge of which it was. 

So Maybe what I will do is just "brief" you on some tings that have a happened lately...

In the World:

Pope Benedict XVI decides "Pope-ing" is not for him and announces his retirement.  This sends the world into a spiral and was ultimately the cause of the destruction of the planet...  Ohh wait, never mind.  That's from the script I am writing.  "Pope's From Outter Space".
What really happened, was people were shocked that the sitting pope would do such a thing.  Apparently Popes like to stay in office until rigor mortis sets in.  Benedict was the first Pope to just up and quit in over 600 years.  That's a long ass time to say "all the popes before you died in order to get out..."  And so the world started to make predictions on the next Pope, and in probably the least decent thing you could do in the situation, Vegas drew odds on it...  Yes, you could actually bet on the next Pope.  I lost.  Over the next few weeks the Vatican went all "Election Stile" and Cardinals were nominated to be [supreme ruler of church] Is that what it's called?  In the end the newest Pope was chosen: Pope Francis from Argentina.  And apparently this dude is changing everything from hats to chairs..  I like it.  Lets put big screen TV's in church so we can watch the games too...

                                                            Is that Gollum?

Winter Storm Nemo drops about 3 feet of snow on New England and generations threaten to kill each other over the dumbest thing ever.  "whose storm was bigger"  Generation X is excited to say "This is the biggest storm I have ever seen!!"  And the Wet Blankets that the Baby boomers are had to get all pretentious and say "that's nothing compared to the blizzard of 78!"  My uncle Kevin would call them "toppers"  because they need to top your story.  Well guess what Kevin, you happen to be a topper in this story simply by being born in the stone age (sorry).  The only thing that separates 78' from 2013 is the advancement of technology.  So yeah, you had it worse, but I don't care so shut up.

      
A meteorite blasts it's way into Russia, and Russians think "not a bad day"  so yeah, that happened. 

In my World:

Jenn is still Pregnant but VERY close to having the baby and we are getting really excited.  Everything that needs to be done before a baby comes is done, the room is put together, the pack n' play is set up, the high chair is set up, the swing is set up, the car seat is good to go...  We're ready!  Now we just need a baby to put in there.  Of course saying you are ready means nothing, because everyone tells me "yeah you say you are ready but you are not".  So that's good.

The baby has pretty much taken up all the news worthy things in my life, but here is a quick list of some others.  My windshield is broken, my commute still sucks, I get to slap my brother in the face as hard as I want, my laptop died, my March Madness bracket is getting pummeled, baseball starts soon, Still don't follow hockey, professional basketball sucks, started watching "The Newsroom" it's awesome, and finally I am 2 lbs lighter than I was when I made my last post....  good for me. 

                                                  Thank you again Aaron Sorkin


That's all for now.